有些留學(xué)生在完成essay寫作時經(jīng)常能想到好多論點(diǎn)，但是總感覺這些論點(diǎn)只是機(jī)械的羅列，彼此之間都是獨(dú)立的，并沒有組成一個完整的段落。今天Australiaway小編就為大家分享幾個小方法，讓整個段落看起來是一個整體，而不是一盤散沙。

essay寫作連貫性

      今天主要分享的是內(nèi)容連貫性的問題。下面是老師的打分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)：

      高階：logically organises information and ideas; there is clear progression throughout

      中階：presents information with some organisation but there may be a lack of overall progression

      舉個例子：

      閑暇時間，年輕人是否應(yīng)該多在家跟家人在一起，還是出去“浪”？

      錯誤示范：

      The young who spend more time at home could certainly strengthen the family relationship. It is likely that older family members can give them useful suggestions in their study and career development. The parents are more experienced in life. When the young stay with the family members, they will feel protected and will not feel lonely.

      正確示范：

      The young spending more time at home could bring numerous benefits, and the most obvious one is that the family relationship is certainly strengthened. It is doubtless that the longer the time people spend together, the more intimate they will become. Besides, older family members, who are more experienced in life, can give young people useful suggestions on their study and career development, such as how to cope with pressure from the employer and how to arrange time properly when task is too challenging.

      上面的錯誤示范中，成為散沙的主要原因有：

      1. 想寫的東西太多

      2. 論點(diǎn)之間沒有聯(lián)系

      3. 句子之間無連接詞

      增加連貫性的方法

      1. 適當(dāng)減一些論點(diǎn)

      2. 論證內(nèi)容豐富一些

      3. 句子之間多使用連接詞

      1. 減少論點(diǎn)數(shù)量

      同學(xué)們在寫很多論點(diǎn)的時候，寫到后面經(jīng)常會跑偏。畢竟那些話題里最切題的論點(diǎn)就那幾個。同學(xué)們后面列舉的看似相關(guān)的內(nèi)容，有時候真的不太需要。

      所以，同學(xué)們可以放棄多余的論點(diǎn)，圍繞幾個關(guān)鍵論點(diǎn)，用不同的角度或者論證方式充分去展開。效果一定比之前要好的多。

      示范：科學(xué)研究消耗太多時間和金錢？

      原始版本：

      Conducting scientific researches is in many cases not cost-efficient. This is mainly because most experiments require sophisticated technology and equipment. Also, the success rate is normally quite low, which means scientists need to repeat the same process several times. In addition, most findings cannot be discovered or put into practice in the short term. Finally, it is possible that with a large amount of investment, no result is found after years of experimentation.

      上面有4個論點(diǎn)，雖然都比較合理，但是太多反而顯得很亂。我們可以試試縮減到一個點(diǎn)，并圍繞這一個點(diǎn)去充分展開，大家看看效果如何：

      改進(jìn)版本：

      Conducting scientific researches is in many cases not cost-efficient, not least because most experiments require sophisticated technology and equipment. For example, in space research, reliable facilities on the ground to send and receive signals accurately from the universe are needed, which could cost millions of dollars, and launching arocket for a one-way trip could even amount to more than one billion dollars. Nevertheless, seldom have we seen any direct application of the discovery of the space exploration at the moment.

      記住，寫議論文，展現(xiàn)論證能力，比想到很豐富的細(xì)碎的小點(diǎn)更加重要。

      2. 豐富論證內(nèi)容

      常見的論證方法有：解釋原因、推導(dǎo)結(jié)果、舉例子和做對比。

      如果你列舉的論點(diǎn)像“散沙”，那大家就可以在論據(jù)前后加上對應(yīng)的擴(kuò)展素材，從而讓段落顯得連貫。

      示范：學(xué)校取消書本教學(xué)？

      原始版本：

      It is argued that schools no longer need to use textbooks, because this is the trend that no one can avoid. The traditional teaching method using printed books will finally become extinct and students will enjoy using the new and digitalized teaching methods and materials.

      這段說的是書本一定會被電子書取代，因?yàn)殡娮訒鴤涫軞g迎。但是并不連貫。因?yàn)樽x者不知道為什么傳統(tǒng)方式會被淘汰，以及學(xué)生為什么喜歡，怎么喜歡新的教學(xué)方法。

      改進(jìn)版本：

      It is argued that schools no longer need to use textbooks. This is evidenced by the fact that many multimedia devices have already been widely used in most educational institutions. For example, by using PPTs and videos, teachers can demonstrate the knowledge in a more engaging and interactive way. Similarly, students equipped with computers or tablets can review lessons easily and accomplish coursework conveniently. Comparatively, traditional teaching methods relying on textbooks can hardly illustrate the information comprehensively with only words and static pictures, making students loss their attention and interests very soon.

      改進(jìn)的版本中增加了具體的例子：因?yàn)殡娮訒筒牧弦约巴茝V了，并且也為大眾所接受，以及會給老師帶來的優(yōu)勢，后面還講了紙質(zhì)書的缺陷。和原始的版本不同，改進(jìn)版不僅僅是把一個結(jié)論擺在那里，而增加了充分的解釋和論據(jù)。內(nèi)容上是不是更有邏輯和連貫性了？我們Australiaway在接到essay代寫的單子時也會按照這些方面幫同學(xué)們把作業(yè)完成好。

      3. 使用連詞、代詞

      增加連詞和代詞也是提升句子之間連貫性的好方法。

      連詞可以讓句子更加連貫。我們很多時候，在完成essay寫作時感覺已經(jīng)做到了足夠的連貫性，但是很多人都忘了加一個連詞，讓老師更好的理解我們的邏輯。

      代詞更是如此。前后如果意思緊密相關(guān)，通過一個簡單的 that/ this/ it，不僅避免了詞匯表達(dá)的重復(fù)，更是提醒老師，essay前后都是在說一件事情。

      示范：小組活動比個人的活動能帶來更多能力的提高？

      原始版本：

      Group activities can improve the cooperation skills of the participants. In group activities we can develop the ability to collaborate with others to accomplish one task. We no longer finish assignment simply according to our own wills. In group activities, we will make use of the strength of each group member to maximize the profits. When playing basketball as a group, some may be responsible for passing the ball and implementing the tactic, while others shoot to score. If one practices basketball alone, he will never know the importance of teamwork.

      改進(jìn)版本：

      Group activities can improve the cooperation skills of the participants, since we can develop the ability to collaborate with others to accomplish one task. This means that we no longer finish assignment simply according to our own wills; instead, we will make use of the strength of each group member to maximize the profits. For example, when playing basketball, some may be responsible for passing the ball and implementing the tactic, while others shoot to score. In comparison, if one practices basketball alone, he will never know the importance of teamwork.

      改進(jìn)版本中增加了每句話的連詞，以及去掉了重復(fù)的 in group activities，整體連貫度大幅提高。

      想要增加段落連貫性，同學(xué)們可以嘗試：減少論點(diǎn)數(shù)量；豐富論證內(nèi)容；使用連詞和代詞。這就是我們這篇文章的主題。同學(xué)們以后在完成essay寫作時就可以把這些tips用到文章里。對于essay寫作還有各種疑問的同學(xué)可以掃描右邊的二維碼聯(lián)系我們的客服哦！